Job

Bob Dylan, Springsteen, and ‘Diamond’ David Lee Roth Walk into a Bar…

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
3. And when you’re in deep sh*t, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!


I don’t know if anyone reads these or not? I tend to write when I have no other outlet for spouting off where no one can tell me I’m wrong. I know I’m wrong. I don’t need your verification. But I don’t mind discussion. If you want the philosophy of a grumpy hermit with social anxiety…I’m your man!

I have a great friend who is a teacher. Mr. Taylor. The only thing that matches his guitar playing is his taste in music. Top notch. He was cool before it was cool to be that cool. We love many of the same bands. The same guitarists. Obscure tunes and forgotten gems. He’s always laughing. He has a Chicago accent. Good guy to be around… We had a discussion the other day about songwriters.

Bob-Dylan-Ray-Ban-wayfarers-500x333

Robert Zimmerman

We were discussing some of the greatest lyricists of the 20/21st Century. Not music as much as the guys who write amazing lyrics. Dylan, Springsteen, John Hiatt, Steve Earle, Lyle Lovett. There are more I’m sure but these guys are regarded worldwide as top shelf lyricists. They know how to turn a lyric into an image that also pulls a switcheroo on you.  They can make you laugh, cry, both and make the hair on your arms stand up.

Some of the names you may not recognize but if you have a favorite song John Hiatt probably wrote it.

28e0eb16d3ad9c349dfe4198a34e9ab5I added David Lee Roth. The singer for Van Halen. The peroxide Mark Twain. The last shameless rock star. Mr. Taylor said that Dave made him smile. Hell Yeah he did. I of course told him I would expound on why DLR is the most underrated poet of our time. Any DLR era classic Van Halen song was co written by Dave. Every word you sing along to was from the mind of a hyperactive kid from San Bernardino, The son of a Dentist.

  1. I can snap my fingers and require the rain
    From a clear blue sky and turn it off again
    I can stroke your body and relieve your pain
    And charm the whistle off an evening train
  2. She comes like the secret wind
    Shes as strong as the mountains,walks tall as a tree.
    She been there before,she’ll never give in,
    She’ll be gone tomorrow like the silent breeze.
  3. Forgotten empires
    Lost victories long past
    Every time I bloomed again
    I thought it was the last
  4. Tell you a secret to make you think
    Why is this crazy stuff we’d never say poetry in ink?
    Speaking day-glow red, explode opaque
    Purple mountain’s majesty
    Show me you, I’ll show you me
  5. I need a little shot of that rhythm baby
    Mixed up with these country blues
    I wanna trade in these ol country boots
    For some fine italian shoes
  6. Except roll down the window
    And let the wind blow
    Back your hair
    Well the night’s busting open
    These two lanes will take us anywhere
    We got one last chance to make it real
    To trade in these wings on some wheels

Case freakin closed…

7b9c73f62b2cfa09f2b616cd95ed1e24It takes a hell of a writer to get those images in your head down on paper and then deliver it. To do it in a poetic, satirical, self-deprecating, but clever inner voice is another thing. David Lee Roth has the ability, the imagination, the vocabulary, and the experience to match any of our greatest writers. Don’t dismiss him because he is a great entertainer.

Just remember…. This when you think of the great writers of our time;

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

Oh here is who wrote what up there:

  1. Silvio – Bob Dylan
  2. Secrets – DLR
  3. Blood and Fire – DLR
  4. Tattoo – DLR
  5. Memphis in the Meantime – John Hiatt
  6. Thunder Road – Bruce Springsteen

I just felt like writing. Dave is as good if not better than most. I won’t really fight you over this.

 

I can't find work due to my prison tattoo.

I NEED A JOB!… So why does this guy get the offers? Hello! San Francisco!

Mr Cropp was serving a two-year jail term for aggravated robbery when his brother did the facial art using a makeshift needle and fermented food.

He went to Facebook and pled his case. “No one will hire me because I have a tattoo all over my face.” He received 45 offers for work and he’s just waiting on the right one…

I can't find work due to my prison tattoo.

I can’t find work due to my prison tattoo

I’ve been living in California for over a year and since everything cost five-times what it did in the Mid-West, I love it.

I have been hitting all the recruiters who alert me to Graphics jobs. I apply I hear nothing. Yes or no. I don’t even know if these alerts are real.

I replied to my recruiter to one of my daily recruiters today. Phil from Ziprecruiter.com

Hi Phil, I hope you are real. I get your updates.

I have been living in CA for over a year. I have applied many times through Ziprecruiter but never received a single bite. I have never heard back. I’m not even sure the position is real.

I am good at my job. I have freelanced for Disney, Warner Brothers, CNN, I have worked at a newspaper. Talk about deadlines. I’ve always met if not exceeded my client’s expectations.

I can list off abilities all day. I can design your next product, brand it, make a graphic for the container, animate it, and build a website from scratch. Take your ad for the product and design a wrap for your car plus a design for the business card and the billboard.

I could stay in and work pre-press making sure files are up to  par. Then separate it into CMYK and print it in a magazine that I have laid out myself, import the Excel file of addresses and walk to the post office to send them.

While I’m there I can work on a forklift and a coal boiler. I can show your children magic tricks at a professional level, teach you to play a guitar or bass, write and record an album, book a tour, and come back with the cash. I can juggle. Where am I going wrong?

I’m going to  Petco tomorrow and asking them for a job. I’m college educated, 20+ real world years of skills to offer, I’m reliable and dependable and I’m going to be cleaning up Parrot crap. I will give it 100% like I do everything. It’s a shame Petco is going to get one of the finest graphic artists you’ll meet.

I have a bad ass sister also looking for work. One day Fortune 500 Company where she managed hundreds of employees with her hard head, smart mouth, and the ability to get things done, the next day going over job boards. I have to shake my head when I hear of her troubles with work. Some company is going to luck out when they hand Michelle (my sis) a job. Stand back, you’ll only get in her way. I think they have a Pet Smart in Mattoon, IL. I hope they are hiring. Gonna be some lucky Parrots in clean cages.

I’m frustrated Phil.
–Samuel Roan

mark-cropp-facebookSo Mr. Moog, while waiting for the right position to come along. You know; desk job,  secretary with a face tattoo.

Forty Five offers were given to this guy while Forty five people who never held anyone at gunpoint, made the decision not to tattoo their face in prison with a makeshift needle and vegetables as ink. Forty five people who were at a disadvantage because they were wise enough not to do what Mr. Moog did.

Plus Moog hasn’t taken a single one of the offers.


My Dad died a few weeks ago. He wasn’t the man he should have been, an alcoholic with a penchant for going to town for smokes and coming home three weeks later. I think back and I really don’t remember doing much with him.

I played little league on year. I remember going with him to the local parts store and sportsman supply shop in Greenup. He bought me a ball glove way too big (You’ll grow into it) and went home and put 3 in 1 oil all over it and I think we put a ball in it and put it under my mattress. I don’t think he saw any games. I remember calling him when I got on base the one time. Michelle and I used that glove for years during P.E. class. He took us to see King Kong (70’s version) and Jaws at the drive in.

18816215_1166151936828489_2122914391_nI could go on but it hurts a little too much and the guilt is a little heavy and my great support team is 2500 miles away. I couldn’t ask for a better bunch of best friends, the community of Greenup and specifically the kindness of Priscilla Schrock who had a ticket waiting for me within an hour of being told to come home. The Greenup Southern Baptist church who got me back and helped big time with the rent. My family. Michelle and Mom and Jim.

I didn’t tell anyone I was home even though I’m sure they knew. I spent two weeks 24/7 with a sober, funny, and frightened father. Not that he ever showed me he was scared. My old man doesn’t get scared.

I’m an Atheist so I don’t imagine Pa sitting back with his brother and best friend John Roan tossing back Busch beer and telling Navy stories. I also know energy can’t be destroyed. So somewhere the energy that was my father is floating around in the either. I don’t think I ever did much to make him proud. I’m all music and art, he was carburetors and beer.

18838444_1166146326829050_1056582043_oI think those were the best two weeks I ever had. We became close again and of all things nightly, we would watch Frasier, the A-Team, and Miami Vice while smoking cigarettes and telling stories. I never knew my dad was in Italy, Greece, Jamaica… He never spoke about it and wasn’t one to take pictures.

We laughed a lot. I get my vision of absurdity from him. Michelle and I both got our sense of humor from him. I got his curly hair, which was always too long for him. Does that shit matter today? No. It’s just hair and too many wasted years.

If I can ever get my favorite singer Brandi Yagow to sing my version of an old Iron Maiden tune “Wasted Years” I will record it. Mine isn’t heavy, fast or angry. It’s just me missing my dad. I can still hear him telling me to “Turn that shit down!” and ironically I’ll be dedicating one of those tunes to him.

Here is the original. Mine is nothing like this except the words and the chords. Until I get it done it’ll have to do.

If you want to do me a solid, follow and share, and get me a freakin job doing what I do best!